A baboon in the bottom of the barrel

This post was inspired by Kathryn on Librarians Matter. I’m not telling a joke because I shared my best one (“pull my finger!”) with @pinkfairiedust in my office this afternoon. She declined. So, instead of a joke I offer some poetry. I hate poetry. This is one of very few poems I can recite. It is by the Spike Milligna (the famous typing error) and is called Baboon.

There once was a baboon
Who one afternoon
Said: “I think I’ll fly to the sun”

So with two great palms
Strapped to his arms
He started his take-off run

Mile after mile
He galloped with style
But never once left the ground

“You’re travelling too slow”
Called a passing crow
“Try reaching the speed of sound”

So he put on a spurt
By gosh how it hurt!
The soles of his feet caught fire

There were great clouds of steam
As he raced through a stream
But he still didn’t get any higher

Racing on through the night
Both his knees caught alight
And smoke billowed out from his rear

Quick to his aid
Came a fire brigade
That chased him for over a year

Many moons pass by
Did Baboon ever fly?
Did he ever make the Sun?

I’ve just heard today
That he’s well on his way
He’ll be passing through Neesden at One.


  1. Penny

    Hee hee! We had this on a tape when I was little along with the Ning Nang Nong where the cows go bong. :)Really like Spike's stuff. His biographies are poignant and funny and his poetry appeals to my sense of the absurd.One of my favs is:There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in/ the holes are small, so the rain is thin

  2. Mal Booth

    There was a young man from DarjeelingWho got on a bus bound for EalingIt said on the door"Please don't spit on the floor."So he stood up and spit on the ceiling.

  3. Mal Booth

    And then of course there's the old fave:André Previn Went to heavenA little bit too soonSt Peter said"You're not quite dead"Come back this afternoon.

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